14 Responses

1. Kolin

   April 9th, 2008 at 1:12 pm

   1

   Elvis,
   In the beginning I stayed with an Albanian family, so learned very much the culture of a typical Albanian meal.
   However, it was obvious I got special treatment.
   On special occasions, I would be given a separate plate with salad or taratol(sp?) rather than dip in the big bowl which everyone eats from.

   What I found funny though, was after I got engaged and married(to an Albanian) and was invited out for a meal by church friends. They would all ask….”what does he eat?”
   My wife would tell them I eat the same things as an Albanian…but they seemed very worried and preoccupied about being able to prepare something suitable.

   Maybe something similar with your friend from Lebanon.

2. elvis

   April 9th, 2008 at 9:24 pm

   2

   Dear Kolin,
   I guess your case was somewhat different, but the fact remains that Shkodrans are quite welcoming too and they have maintained their traditions much more than the people in Tirana have. At least that is my personal impression.

   My friend from Lebanon is also a special case in himself, but he too goes to the same church I do and that is why to me it is of even greater concern!

   Anyway, thanks for sharing your experience
   Elvis

3. Kim H

   April 10th, 2008 at 6:10 pm

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   Interesting topic! We’ve been here more than 3 years and I can’t remember once having dinner at an Albanian’s home. I have had a coffee- but just one time!

4. drita

   April 11th, 2008 at 8:59 am

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   Elvis:

   Albanian hospitality is alive and well! I continue to experience it whenever I’m in Albania (2-3 times yearly) and also in Montenegro.

   This was particularly true when I returned to the country of my origin after an absence of more than half a century. In the early 1900’s life was extremely difficult even in the capital, as you probably know, and daily living then was a struggle for survival. Nevertheless. I was a received with open arms by people I never knew, and was made comfortable in their humble home for as long as I wanted to stay. I have learned a great deal since then, and experienced some wonderful foods and dishes never seen before, without mentioning their history and traditions.

   Am enjoying your blog and linked it to mine. Keep up the good work!

5. elvis

   April 11th, 2008 at 12:12 pm

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   Dear Kim,
   I’m sorry that this has been the case for you. May be I might could change that as I did for my Lebanese friend

   Elvis

6. Wangbu

   April 12th, 2008 at 11:34 am

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   Hello! I am a blog fan from the Philippines. You know we have the same blog template. I found your unique way of handling it. You have very interesting posts.

7. alidea

   May 3rd, 2008 at 11:44 am

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   Hi there

   I enjoyed the topic you presented here on albanian hospitality, and I do agree that more a city becomes cosmopolitan, more individualism finds its shape.
   Firstly,I do not know about your friend (whether he has been living in Tirana only) but it seems clear to me that Tirana is not Albania, I mean Tirana without its suburbs. No, I am not to say that we are in a clear individualistic society, but still in its way here in my point of view there is another kind of individualism Albanians are about to develop.
   Secondly, I have noticed that internationals living in Albania have created a certain “club” among themselves, socializing only between themselves, the reason seems still weird to me.
   Thirdly, I was brought to believe form my personal experience, that it is people which create a country (society) and not the country creating them. So may be your friend no matter how you appreciate him, or you find great, has not shown the same interest to other people till the point of being invited.

   Forth and not least, I lived for 4years in Paris, and no matter the individalism reigning there, I was invited many times to dinner by my french friends, and I invited many times them in my place to dine with me. Though many of Parisians I met were complaining and saying they are not invited. by each other. So I guess one more reason to your theseis it has to do with integration of someone’s in the new country’s society he is living.

   Pershendetje / Greetings

8. elvis

   May 3rd, 2008 at 2:59 pm

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   Dear Alidea,
   I would have to say that I agree with most of what you pointed out that it is a person’s character and make up that allows them to become part of any culture and people where they may happen to be living.

   And ‘yes’ it does require a sense of openness towards others, but that openness is also affected by the openness of the people around you.

   Anyway, I remain convinced that the growing materialism of Albanians has affected our hospitality as well, and that is more true in Tirana, as you so rightly pointed out.

9. alidea

   May 3rd, 2008 at 5:39 pm

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   Dear Elvis ,

   I am happy to see you agree with me, still I believe that Albanians in general have a real sens of hospitality and, no matter materialism I hope that it will not vanish from our traditions.

10. Afrim

    May 8th, 2008 at 9:50 am

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    Albanian Hospitality!
    I take pride in being an Albanian, ipsofacto, and that said in the good sense of course. I guess it runs in the blood, but also, I must say that I have found out that friendliness and hospitality are traits and qualities of the HUMBLE. Who shares all he/she has, the poor or the rich? When the humble takes you in, he/she shares with you all he/she has. If they give, they give what they have, and it might be all they have. What does the rich share with you? What does he/she give away? I guess they only give from the left-overs, and sometimes they even prefer to dumpt it away before they give it to someone who needs it.

    In my trips to Sri Lanka and other poor countries in Asia and Africa, I have encountered great friendliness and hospitality. In order for me to experience that, i.e. the friendliness and hospitality, I had to identify myself with them. I went to them and started talking to them. I would join their kids and play with them, and they would gleefully welcome me in their midst. A visitor who goes to a visit some place, never stops to talk to the people, not even a good day or goodbye, of course he is not gonna be able to experience and know how friendly or hospitable the people are. Someone who is “out of left field” sure does not know experientially how good, or hard, or fun it is to play baseball.

    I have been to most of the rural Albania, and I must say that I have felt honored and privileged to be Albanian, as I always am. Most of the times I have been accompanied by foreigners, and they have been mesmerized by the hospitality of the Albanian people. One made this comment back in 1996 and 2000: “If you were in America, you would have to bring your sleeping bag with you, a little tent, and enough food for the time you think you are gonna be away.”
    Other times I have been unaccompanied by any non-Albanian, and still, I have been treated like a King.
    Tirana is an axception. It is becoming more and more westernized, internationalized and people from all over Albania populate it, and you CAN in NO WAY excpect Tirana to preserve Albanian culture.
    So, I guess I only told the same story in some different words. But I must say that I fully agree with Alida or Elvis.

11. Robert Wilcox

    May 19th, 2008 at 9:26 pm

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    I am grateful to say that I have been on the receiving end of Albanian hospitality on many different occasions. My wife and I did spend our ten years in Albania outside of Tirana, however. Even then I am not sure that I would conclude that this unique and valuable aspect of Albanian culture has wholly disappeared in Tirana. I am sure it lives on. It will just take more intentionality to preserve it, which Elvis is exercising.

    Even we Americans have to work hard these days to preserve aspects of our culture which are being eroded, but which we feel are important. Sometimes we have to work very hard. The most valuable things in a culture are never easy to preserve.

    Back to Albania though. We did notice that the “fshataret e Shqiperise” were typically far more hospitable than the “qyqetaret.” I know that some of you will not like to hear that, but that is what we found. This may have to do with relative levels of wealth, as some have suggested. It may also simply have to do with the real differences between city and country living. Basic patterns of life in these two different settings are different and it effects cultural forms.

12. zeripopullit

    June 5th, 2008 at 4:36 pm

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    Hi Robert, In principle I would agree with you saying that “fshataret” are more hospitable than “qytetaret” but like any other western approach country these changes are inevitable.

    I personally think that life in Albania and especially in Tirana is very fast and people are pre - occupied with making a living and keeping up with the pace of life. This factor in turn affects the time people have to spend at home and consenquelty I believe this has an inpact in being able to preserve Albanian’s great hospitality intact as some people know it.
    On the other hand, the further away from the Tirana you go, life becomes much slower and people have the time to sit and spend more time at home, with relatives and friends (and this is mainly thanks to the people who imigrate to support their families).

    I personally come from Tirana and each time I go there to visit my family I notice a profound change in Tirana’s culture and hospitality. I must say I am saddened to see the real Tirana (15 year ago) fade away. But hey I am an open minded person and I have to be prepared for the changes that incur to my great city.

13. elvis

    June 5th, 2008 at 4:53 pm

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    Dear Robert,
    thanks for sharing your experience. I have to say I agree.

    Elvis

14. Daniela

    July 9th, 2008 at 8:27 am

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    That is a very good topic indeed, even if it’s already a month old
    This has been a discussion even in my circle of friends/family. We have next week a class about hospitality, of course seen also from the Bible point of view - I think it would be very interesting!

    Anyway, back to the discussion here, I also think that hospitality has changed a lot these years. Sometimes I just miss those times when people were so simple and so friendly (not saying that they’re not so anymore, it’s just a different level or way of demonstrating it). In fact if we analyze some of the reasons of that great hospitality we come up with the fact that at those times people had not much to do, as someone mentioned above. The TV (when people got one at their homes) broadcasted just for a few hours, there were no bars (or very few and not the kind of nowadays). The entertainment for the people was just a walk at the park, visit each-other at home (any time they wanted, without asking for the right time to be received), gather for special occasions (which were very looking forward) such as birthdays, marriages, engagement, recovering from some bad health condition or anything else I’m not reminded to now. Every reason was good enough to show up at your relatives’ or friends’ homes. This is of course a good thing, because it keeps people friendly and hospital (if someone comes to your home often, you have to take care of that person feeling good there).
    Oh, I forgot the occasions when someone coming from another city (other than the capital) to study in the faculties of Tirana, just came to your home, staying there for the whole time of studying.

    So, if we see, even if it had some good aspects, it was somewhat excessive, boundaries were not very much respected. Privacy was not much respected. Your business was others’ business. So, I think part of the fading of Albanian hospitality has to do with that also. People urged to be free of “obligations” (because some did that also just for moral obligations or just for not being judged) and be free and have their own space, their own things and privacy. As e result hospitality had to suffer some, but I think it was right this way. You just cannot be kind of cooperative, in my opinion, but it’s right to have your circle of friends and relatives with whom you just feel more comfortable and more close.

    Of course Albanians are still hospital, but with the ones they just want to and within logical limits. This is the difference I think. One cannot just come to you and say anymore that s/he’s going to stay at your place for the entire study period. You have now other options, you can rent a place, you can stay at a cheap hotel, you can stay at hostels, etc.
    Now you can invite someone for the night, for dinner, at e restaurant, for a coffe, etc. people still get together even if not that often due to the daily obligations and many things you have to do.

    If I think back to those times, I really miss them, but maybe it’s just nostalgia of childhood times. I rather like more this times, the boundaries we have to respect, people’s privacy and doing things freely whenever and however you like.

    A last thing I wanted to stress out. I live in a new building and as you know there are many families living in new building with many floors and many flats per floor. You just get on the elevator and have not much possibilities to meet with your neighbors, except for sometimes on the elevator, but even then just a “hello” is enough, not anymore. I just don’t know many of my neighbors, some of them I have seen, with some I just have exchanged a few word,s others I just don’t know and never have seen. (Quite different from old times when you knew everyone in your building, not to say in your hallway), and I somewhat like it, but I have noticed something. There were some cases when my neighbors needed my help (both of them forgot once their keys inside and had to go in from the balcony, ehh). I was very glad to help them out and invite them in and never thought this was an invasion of privacy :))))
    So, what I’m trying to say is that privacy is important, but what we should not loose from our culture I think it’s being helpful when others are in need, not shutting the door at their faces.

    Ok, since you cannot stop me going on, I’m doing it myself, cause it ended up a roman
    Thank you for the time reading my opinion
    Have a good summertime and God Bless!